Damn good question

I don't really have any
Why?

I don't know

Poor parenting

Ask my wife

Come to think of it
I can find the stinkiest darkest dirtiest bar in any town in less than ten minutes

Without fail

The Last Waltz

No crying, no mist

Just The Band and friends Playing

The hangover

Saturday morning, Thorn the mechanic rolled over with a hell of a headache.

Thought out loud,

Damn too much to drink last night, such a headache

and

My right shoulder hurts

What happened there

Then it started coming back to him

He’s under an Impala, dropping the transmission

Across the floor he catches movement

Is that a creeper, maybe a grocery bag

Something brown

Moments slip by and he focuses

Damn, it’s a snake, a sidewinder

How’d that get in here?

Thorn moves to slip from under the Impala

Too late, the sonofabitch bit me, right through the coveralls

He jumps up and quicksteps it to the office

Hey E.J., goddam snake bit me on the shoulder

Bullshit Thorn, how could that happen?

I was on my back on a creeper and it just slipped up

Let me see Thorn…

No kidding, it is a bite, what was it

A sidewinder, Thorn exclaimed, and I don’t feel that good

E.J grabs him by the arm and says,

Let’s get ya to the hospital

Won’t kill ya

But

You’re gonna feel like shit in the morning

And

Get rid of that chewing tobacco before you get in my car

Create Your Own Tile

Pictures

We don't gotta show you no goddamn pictures

Oh;

Here's one

Little boy in ledderhosen trying to get them done whilst viewing internet porn

Need he say more?



Or



Woman trying to stuff prayers written on grocery baggs in the wailing wall



Just slap me



Teehee

Cmon now, really

This is a retread from last summer

Take This Back, in a pigs eye...

I wrestled with this one for hours

When I was a hormonal, angry, misled, poorly raised teen

I caused my mother no end of consternation

Sometimes I’d like to take that back

But

She was pregnant 16 times, 14 made it to birth, 12 made it to their first B-day

Like the lady and the snake, she musta known what I was when she took me in





What would I take back

Nothing absolutely nothing

I’m just human

A monkey with a drivers license



Everything I’ve done and had done to me has brought me to the exact place I stand

Just as there is something good in every human [Oh you doubters]

Eventually there is something good in every action or group of actions

I've a notion

But my battery is wearing down

Down to about 8.5 volts

Let’s see

When I was a little kid, my mother dressed me really funny* and took me to church

Well we did learn about how much God loved us and all

However, if ya didn’t love him with all you faculties forever…

You weren’t getting No heaven

By the time I turned 16 and had been turned down for sex a few times because I hadn’t professed enough devotion….

I figured out that God must be a teen age girl

Or

The god they were trying to teach me…

Was made up during some sort of drug or starvation festival

I’ve been alive 70 years.

I’ve not met, read, heard from anyone intelligent enough to perceive the extent of the universe

Much less

GOD

What ever it is

My ancestors have a name for it…

The name is the “holy mystery”

Wakan Tanka



Any and all religions are and were invented to ease the notion of death

And

Corral people into doing stuff that don’t come natural





So there









*sport coat tie and shorts with suspenders.

Y’know, Sunday go to meeting duds.