Holy the pig

Has anyone noticed that both

Heaven

And

Hell

Begin with

He, not She

Howard [Hank] Holton has or had a big big pig [hog], {Holy}

Holy had giant balls

Ask’d why, Holy said sows dig big balls

1 day Hank thought to unload da big pig Holy, that of giant balls

Holy ask’d why

Taking a long train trip San Francisco said Hank

I could go with you said Holy

No hogs on trains said Hank

Holy said oh Boo Hoo, Christians but not hogs with big balls

What now?

On day two Hank said “Holy, train trip to San Francisco is off”

How come said Holy

This story must have 100 words

100 words without “~” is tough

Thank God said Holy

Ghost riders in the sky

I can't put it more eloquently than

==>>http://www.plinky.com/answers/111628



We all need something to believe in

Whilst waiting for the end

Few of us know why the sky is there

Even fewer know where we are

And

Those that do

1% know whom they are

So

If you can, enjoy your heart beats





It's been said

We all need something to believe in

It's 8:23 a.m.

I believe I'll have a beer

Wishing your life away

No one

We all live and die

We all makes mistakes

Some of us pay the consequences

Some of us don't

But

Wishing it were tomorrow

For

Whatever reason, is wishing your life away

Wishing or wanting the life

or

The attributes of another's life

Is

Wishing your life away

Every good or bad possession

or

Good or bad experience

Has been

The reward for being me

A space case Voyage

Absotiveley Posolutely



90% of my life has been spent swimming about inside of my head

A trip to the moon would be perfect for a space case such as I

Ummmmm

....Would this be round trip?

First class or coach?

Will there be flight attendants, in flight meals, cocktails?

Will there be security at the gate?

For some unknown reason, I always mouth off to those people....



Besides, ya did say FREE, Dintcha?

A Swiss Miss Childhood

Well now Mr/Ms Curious Plinky person...

Which of my childhoods are we referring to?

The

1940s

1950s

1960s

1970s

or

The 2-ought, ought, oughts

Is it any of your bizzness

Do you really care

Are you living vicariously through my Spierence?

How come there is never a human face associated wiff any these teases

Not prompts

Teases

Hell I'm already starting to miss the minutes it took to write this smartypants response



Make up for it as an adult

Hmmmm

Rob a bank

Steal a horse

Go fishin

Get laid



Don't tell nobody I ain't got nothin to do

What's wrong with this guy?

I have this shithead neighbor

Claims to be half-breed

Says he likes Quiet

Well why in the hell did he move to the mountains?

I have horses

I have a tin barn

The horses have nothing to gnaw on so they rebel and squeal and kick the barn all hours

I have a fat, stupid, ugly, worthless wife

She has a couple of pit bulls

She likes to takem in the yard and play that she is a 3 year old with a puppy

Noisy as hell, but what the fuck…

I have a Kubota backhoe that I like to play with when I come home

It’s diesel

Makes noise, I like it

I like to go on his property and cut stuff, I’ve cut everything on mine, so his is all that’s left

What’s wrong with that?

Now this dumb-ass half-breed blanket ass neighbor wants me to quiet down and stay offa his place

Or

He’s gonna put an arrow dipped in rotted liver in me

Says it’s Indin poison…

What in the hell’s wrong with this guy?

I ask ya…

Impressive Y2K Scar

Bottom line

I can do what I call guitar playing



Most recent

The sad part of this story is I was sober

New years eve 1999

Waiting to take part in the festivities my wife and her sidekick had planned

Y’know dinner, rock n roll, dancing, listening to half-wits shoot guns in the air

I’d just bought a bed liner for my pick-up

The line had slots to insert 2x4, 6, 12, whatever to divide the bed

Pulled the truck around back by my work bench

Got out a 2x12

Got out a 25’ tape

Measured the required slot’s width

Got out a “Skill” worm drive saw

Started the cut

As the two pieces started to part…

For some reason I chose to grab for the falling part, not jump out of harms way…

In an instant the saw fell across my left fore arm opening a jagged 4’ slot in the arm

Cutting veins, arteries, nerves

Id disobeyed all the rules given me by my 12th grade shop teacher, Mr. Borchers as in

While operating dangerous machines

Never wear long sleeves

Never work above your belly-button

Never let the “butt” part be more than one foot in length, without a support under it

Never try to save anything, let it fall



Yelled to my wife, “Honey I need a red towel, and we need to go to the ER”

Stupid ER guy nurse, but “GREAT, GREAT, GREAT ER surgeon”

Went to dinner

Went dancing [for a while]

Listened to fools shoot guns at 2000

Plinky

There's a chance

I'm not the only one

No mater

How Ya DOIT

When Ya DOIT

Where Ya DOIT

Why Ya DOIT

What Ya DOIT

How long Ya DOIT



DOOIT

DOOIT

DOOIT

DOOIT



Sounds like an old style oil can, right?

If My Life Was a Movie

My wife doesn't think this movie is funny at all

The life of a well intended bumbler

However mine isn't very funny

Like Naven, I've invented stuff others took and made money on

But

I didn't think of them as inventions

Rather

Things I needed on a daily/weekly basis

Oops, gone off message

Charity begins at home

YA HAD TA ASK DINTCHA

WTF

Ah yes, yes, yes

The not so classic duel between retired Pittsburgh Pirates players

And

The original Teenage Ninja Turtles

For Charity

The Pirates are all drunk

And

The Turtles are over weight and diabetic

The real charity here is that anyone came out to see the game

Plus

They couldn’t even get a real ball field for the game

As

In past years the game has turned into a fistfight

Peppered with kicking and tripping

And

Missed shots with throwing stars

It’s raining

The field has gone muddy

Whose idea was this anyhow?

Looks like the work of Carl Rove

And

“W”

Fast Food

Well, just tother day I was sittin out on the veranda.

Bored stiff, feelin low.

That jug of Arkansas whiskey I’d been nursing was down to bout half a quart.

Thought What next.

Just about then a feeling of meanness came sliding into my soul.

Thought to myself, self, you and I oughta

Slide down to Texas

Open us a manatee fast food stand accrost the street from one of those high school football stadiums.

Come Friday nights game…

People lookin over the shoulder of those in front em

With a sack Manatee Mole Samiches n Crisped armadillo shell will

Just be the envy of the stadium.

Humanity, inhumanity, what is it

DOES IT EXIST

Death by Stoning

I’m not certain that this is a cliché

But

I’m in the studio rehearsing

I’m outside doing pre-winter fix-up

Through all of this I put on 4 DVDs

Making of…

Dark side of the moon

Wish you were here

Animals

The wall



As I walked through the living room, I saw this scene

Men in helmets, shields, flack vests, and wielding clubs rushing in lock step towards some imagined adversary



And

The question entered my head



Are humans capable of being humane…



We have millions of devices

But

Have we left the jungle?

All religions claim love

But

Endorse every form of brutality to everything that exists…

The only Cliché that comes to mind

If it won't go, chrome it.



An old drag racing axiom



However it seems to apply most of modern life



Guys: Get a Justin Bibber hairdo, or get an iPhone or iAnything, or a phast Car, something flashy, something trashy, something ya saw in a movie...

Don't improve yourself, dazzle em with bullshit.

Do a line and grab you junk



Girls: If ya can't perform get a tit job or something flashy, something trashy, something ya saw on TV

Do a line and follow with a couple of well placed pelvic thrusts

Marking time(Safe) Versus Living(Sorry?)

That moment hasn't come yet

If it were a part of my psyche or overall makeup

I wouldn't have

Spent 5 1/2 years of my 69 in plaster

Nor

Awakened 3 times to discover that it was a week or so later

always a trip

There is definitely something missing from my upbringing

But this answer is very good



http://www.plinky.com/answers/109502

Aint No Weird Foods

What's with the photo with every prompt?

Is that for people that can't read or write?

There are no weird foods

Only

People with weird food attitudes



Anything you can digest

Is

In keeping with our ancestors



Da monkeys

Songs that sooth my being

Three of maybe a hundred that I play sparingly

To be certain that I don't ever tire of them

Wish you were here by Pink Floyd

Million Miles Away by Rory Gallagher

Comfortably numb by Pink Floyd

Mr. Dirt

Ron Hughes [Mr Dirt]

My cousin

My mentor

My hero

5’ 7”

Tall enough to be distinguished from dwarves

Short enough to be looked down on

Ron wasn’t that physically dirty, but he just grew up treating people like dirt

Tellin old ladies it was ok to cross in the middle of the block,”I’ve got you back”

Takin money out of the plate in church by putting gum on his little finger

    And distracting attention with, “Look, bats in the ceiling”

Ron did have his good side, he’d share his ill gotten gains with me.

Some times he’d fill a can with the weed killer round up

   Take a water color brush and walk around painting leaves on rose bushes as he passed, sometimes squirting lighter fluid on em, lighting em and watch people try to put it out

Ol ron he’d take wheel chair bound folks for walks, set one brake and set em spinning

Tie the tails of two cats together and sling em over a clothes line

Almost never bathed, but was a snappy dresser

Did need some dental work

And

A hair cut

But don’t we all



Ol Ron he's a hoot

Sci-fi Guy

Image, whatta ya mean image

We

Don't gotta show you no stinkin image

Sci-Fi Guy:

Con Stan

From the Galaxy Tinople



Heard that there was water on earth

Now, ol Con been lookin for that water for 4.5 billion years

Bein as how it had been pilfered from planet #45

The theft goes back 4.459 billion years

Con, he’s been busy

Not that busy though

He’s been collecting concubines, here n there

Count em [45,000]

Now there’s a stable to support

Hasn’t been all sex, drugs, n rock and roll

He also has to prepare the {water found} report to the big guy

The big guy, namely “W

Well Con has to report the sad news that the water now contains raw oil and bits of plastic

Unbeknownst to him, W has a taste for raw oil, and can tolerate plastic shards..

……………………….



Pictures at 11

Brains or Beauty?

Sex or Suzuki

Yeh, but

What is beauty?

What is intelligence?

Every decade redefines both

Some people think of Einstein as being super intelligent

However

They don’t know what he is lauded for nor have any understanding of his accomplishments

Some people read poetry and assign inner beauty to the poet

Is He/She?

Physical beauty and true intelligence don’t necessarily have to be mutually exclusive

We assign “brainy”, to the some of the biggest fools

We assign “beauty” to some of the worst personalities





Never been good lookin

Never been overly intelligent

Never been able to change either

You is or you isn’t



Don’t you have some yard work to do?

A Book I'd Be

Might as well be the dictionary

I have a personality flaw...

Thus......

By the time I've finished a book

I've brought forth a dislike for every one in it

Go figure...

Sociopath?