Hope there's no Les Paul Gold top

1990 Gibson Les Paul 30th anniversary reissue

Eye Candy!

Just kidding

Alex

Alex
An aging Alex from A clockwork orange

On crutches

I was in the middle of having my left foot put back on

They were going to throw it away, but my hero Dr. Rod stepped in and said we can fix it

I had some time on my hands

It didn't start out to be Alex, just worked out that way

Like everything in my life, nothing ends up where I was originally pointed

I could get in my truck to drive to Orlando Fla and end up building a still to make whiskey.

My sister taught me the key to creativity is to start with a fully mundane task and that spoiled brat little kid lurking just below my skin will jump out and take me to some halfway decent place.



For instance

Addressing a Plinky Prompt

Squash flower is so welcome

A squash flower and visitor

We plant so many...

A

Favorite is hard to name

The squash flower , corn flower and potato flower mean we will have much to eat October through the freezing time.

Cay West FLa to Prudoe Bay Alaska

In case we need an oil change





Why?

On my part....

Total lack of perspective....

Nuthin else to do....

Now that we've done the unthinkable...

Let's drive over to Kamchatka Island...

Then to Subic Bay Philippines

Then Kona Hawaii

Then on to Tijuana for the donkey show....

Then back to Cay West...

Get outta the car...

Kinda sorta tired of driving...

Better, better, butter, banter

It’s the old 20-20 hindsight postulate.

If you have the luxury of pondering the result your actions

Wellllllllll…….

However

If you find yourself renting a storage space to stuff your shit cause your mate caught you

If you find yourself nervously being interviewed by an IRS auditor

If you find yourself in handcuffs

If you find yourself missing body parts instead of dead

If you find yourself with an STD

Seems Sorry than Safe won…



I have no idea why my life has been lived as it has…

BUT

The good decisions left me alive to…

Endure the slings and arrows of bad decisions…

However the most interesting were the…

No decision situations…

Din’t look afore leepin…

Din’t even think…

We all end up dead…

GOD NO…

Can someone order my a shot of lagavulin?

The Rule #2 is inappropriately named

Refer to Rule#1

Is School or college a great place to make friends?

I'm not certain what mapquest had in mind, but if there is a school or college at the pointer, it must be a place to learn hookerism.

Perhaps a hot dog culinary academy.





School, college is a so-so place to make friends...

Hmmm....

How does one make a friend?

Does that mean put the make on a new acquaintance?

Does that mean assemble an android and call it Charlie.

Does that mean make up a new imaginary friend, such as an invisible white rabbit named Harvey?

Make friends do what?

I suspect Plinky is a never ending source of straight lines.

A Proving ground for sitting down stand up comedians.

French Roast Coffee

It would be a cup of French roast coffee.

I've purchased it for 22 years from Sierra Mountain coffee Roasters

It's dark

It's bitter

It shocks the senses

By now I'm guessing it's a conditioned response.

I'm so spoiled that any other taste just don't get it

I moved to Scottsdale for 3 years and had to have a friend ship me beans .



What a lab rat am I...

Money-saving tip: Buy quality hard goods

Buy quality hard goods
"Not made in china"!

If you saved money up front "Wal-Mart" but it breaks early "re-purchase" or you have to perform repairs too often, where's the saving.

Buy quality scotch
Just because you should!

Glenlivet

Lagavulin

United States Congress?

What the hell

This is getting old

The people and their votes are for sale

Why not the

furniture

carpets

art work

lighting fixtures

Dishes

flat wear

books

mistresses(not old)

barber services





Well I'd say cars, but they are mostly new

It's a crying shame that there is no monetary value in "sour grapes" or bile

*#$@?*>%$@< Fires

In my neck of the woods it’s not necessarily natural.

Most likely it’s someone thinking he or she can control any type of fire

Yard burn on a windy day

Yard burn left going after ya went to bed

Cigarette out the window

Yard burn during yard burn ban season

Mowing a lawn which has long since gone brown

Chain sawing without a fire extinguisher

Welding without a fire extinguisher

Dragging a muffler you’re too cheap to fix

Wood stove without a spark diffuser

Fireplace ashes in a paper bag

Cheap lazy halfwit guy who thought to himself

         Why cut that brush down

         I’ll just singe it in place

         Yeah that’s the ticket

One was caused by a homeless guy throwing a lit roll of toilet paper at his DAWG

To quote Yul Bryner

         etc, etc, etc



and

too many loose the total material substance of their lives

plus pets

TOTAL

Don, ya gotta let yer hair down

Can I interest ya in a couple of hot properties?

Interest ya in a couple of hard fought acquisitions?

Intrigue ya with value beyond value?

Eh Donald me lad?



invest in the value of "0.00"

Invest in the value of your skin

Invest in the comfort of discomfort

Invest in the progress of decay

Invest in the notion more is gained by doing nothing



Of course you the reader have discerned that

I'm plagiarizing Lao Tsu and the Te Ching



But what entrepreneur hasn't stolen or fudged n their quest for

Gidas, Gelt, yenom, Gilders, Marks, Rubles, Gold, Dollahhhs, Euros

I'm D.B. Cooper

I'm D.B. Cooper
The money is really in a Swiss account drawing interest.

Cooper is such a cult hero, no one will turn me in

I'm a plastic surgeon
Class of 58 listen up

I can help ya with that chin

I can do an office visit tuck

I can do scarless implants

Lunchtime Lipo for you guys

Stratocaster body, neck, and pickup tree

2003 Fender Strat Body

I'm

Shallow

Cheap

Live a narrow life

and suffer from gross indecisiveness

but

on the positive side

Think of the farming implements needed to maintain such a wondrous plant

What would the plant food be?

How many years till it fruits

How many years would it bear fruit

Would it be a winter or summer fruiting plant?

Would the fruit say made in China, or perhaps made in Mexico?

Would they have to be aged

Would the necks be all radii and fingerboard textures, Jumbo or medium Jumbo frets

Would the pickups be Texas hot or David Gilmour sweet?

So many possibilities, so little time

Old goat

We are talking about a 68 year old man and a 14 year old boy, yes?



Old goat is 68 years wise

probably in great condition due to instructions from his cardio team.

Has really good health insurance



14 year old boy has great hand eye coordination from playing video games

probably plays soccer

might be armed.



Old goat has learned to pick his fights.



Does Vegas weigh in on this one?



Does the boys' mom know he's out getting into trouble?



Does his dad still live in the home?



Probable draw.

Half wits anonymous

Providing those born without a personality of some kind, something

Currently auto makers are making hay based on the publics lack of powerful personnas. If you read between the lines the commercials read.



Hey halfwit, we know you're nothing, but buy a

{{Ford, Chevy, Dodge, Nissan}} truck

with a motor larger than that penis you long for

and

The ability to tear up the country side we all own

and

haul brick and play in the mud

and

that's all the personality you'll ever need

Till trade in time

I kinda think Roger Rabbit

Roger Rabbit
Of course I have secrets

Roger is a toon, the coolest type of being in the universe

That would be the single malt universe , you understand!

Flick the switch and roger ceases to exist

Secrets no problem.

mandarin01
One never puts a secret in E:Mail

One never puts a secret in a TEXT

One never puts a secret in Snail mail

One never puts a secret on a bar napkin

One never puts a secret in a cell phone

One never puts a secret on land line

One never puts a secret in a telegram

One never puts a secret in a video

One never puts a secret in a time capsule

One only conveys a secret in person face to face in private away from the madding crowd

That can't happen so it's safe to say mandarin01

Probably no one
It's a secret for Christs sake, get it!

The wild things are in My Yard

White tail deer

raccoons

Skunks

Bob Cats

Red Tail Hawks

Vultures

At least one Black Bear

Mountain Lion

Pious Jehovahs Witnesses driving Prius

Stupid Human Tricks

June 1985

We camped at the top of Sonora pass, about 9500 feet.

In the first weeks of June the alpine flowers are really, really beautiful

Afternoon #2 we-uns decided to hike

A mile or so had passed and we came to a fork in the trail.

Right fork went across a snow field, left fork climbed above it.

Wife says “I’m going left”

Mr. Adventure says “I’m going right”

About 200 yards across the snow, the toe holds I was making in the snow began to fail.

I slid backwards, downwards about 20 feet.

Stopped

Looked down

Maybe 300 foot crevice of rock

A dead fall.

The words that went through my mind were

“Looks like I’m the stupid human on the 6 O’clock news”

Took me nearly an hour to extricate me-self craw-fishing so to speak.

Stupid Human Tricks